Old Lady Pooper

I must say the bathroom habits of those who work in our building are beyond what you would think is "lady-like". Sometimes rather funny, but most of the time disgusting. Anywho--here is the story of what I would like to call Old Lady Pooper.

It was mid-day when I decided I needed to run to the bathroom to relieve my bladder from the several glasses of water I had been drinking (Yes, you read right, WATER not COKE). I go into the far stall, lock the door and begin unzipping my pants. Someone else entered the bathroom and proceeded to my door, pushing it, trying with all of their might to get in. I wanted to say, "Um, yeah, locked!", but didn't. All I saw was a rush of big red hair. She decided to use the open stall right next to me. Open, what a concept.

I had to cover my mouth....she started grunting and pushing OUT LOUD. I thought a hidden camera was going to come through the door at any minute. I was tyring so hard not to giggle out loud....just had to cover my mouth and pray her grunting and splashing would cover my low laughing. I began wondering if she realized someone was actually in there. I mean she did try the door, but seriously quiet it down sister!

Then she started talking to herself, mumbling almost under her breath, all the while still GRUNTING; "I hate that man, I wish I never gave him a father's day card". A few more splashes and then more mumbling but iwas lower than before and muffled....she was actually on her CELL PHONE WHILE POOPING! I was hearing the person on the other end between her mumblings. I was really holding back the laughter now. How can she grunt into the phone, splash and continue on. Who is this person!!!!

Hanging slightly under the stall wall was the toilet paper. I could see it. It never moved! Not when she was done, not before she pulled up her pants. No joke....she did not use the toilet paper. She flushed exited the stall and then the bathroom. No water, no soap, no papertowel sounds either, just walked right out of the restroom.

NO TOILET PAPER and DID NOT WASH HER HANDS. How disgusting is that! Seriously there are so many things wrong with that, I don't really know where to start. All the while I am sitting in my stall trying to keep my laughter at a minimum. I rushed out of my stall to spray the entire restroom with lysol.

One of the many bathroom stories we have here at America West Bank. Always remember, never put money in your mouth, you just never know who has touched it and where they have been!!!!!